fall after fall
i used to climb the tree before
i let my spirit soar
i used to smile
back when a smile
was not called an eyesore
i used to not feel broken
back when every break could mend
i used to smile and wave to you
you used to be my friend
but days have passed
and days don’t last
the same one always stays
i used to think forever
meant for the rest of your days
i used to smile at strangers when i walked straight through the park
i used to laugh at insults
and go dancing in the dark
you used to say you loved me
and i’d always love you back
it used to be
the words you’d say
were never to attack
i used to cry more than i do
i used to say goodbye
i used to get upset with you
at every little lie
i used to scream when i would fall
not used to being scared
remember when when my smile would drop
not used to being used
i used to smile
i used to laugh
i used to feel much more
i used to love you, but me more
i always climbed that tree before
don’t forget what you did to me
or how you make me feel
don’t forget when you love her
then when she needs me to heal
i used to feel when i would fall
my stomach used to sink
i used to know what to say back
i used to think to think
the last time that i climbed that tree
i used to feel that fear
the first time when you touched me
and i wished i wasn’t here
i used to feel the pitfalls
and i used to feel so weak
i don’t feel much of feeling
call that strength or call it bleak
i went to walk just yesterday
and saw once and again
this smiling, laughing, climbing girl
unbothered
almost 10
she said “come up and play with me”
and willingly i sighed
climbed up in that same tree
where i would never need to hide
i found myself just sitting
sitting still
me and my cares
a girl who cared for freedom
and a girl who cared to care
and watching all the twists and turns
of pools of leaves below
the tears fell down
they raised her up
helped her to truly grow
i’ve learned to smile at strangers now
call darkness my best friend
i’ve learned to say i love you
when it’s true
and make amends
i’ve learned to climb that tree again
and grow roots with my tears
i’ve learned to fall
i’ve learned to fly
i’ve seen the view of years